Our God...

I can't express how much I love this song. This is such a great song for encouragements. It leaves us thinking positively, knowing that OUR GOD IS GREATER. It's such a blessing to know that our God is with us forever and always. For me, it reassures me that everything is alright when God is with us. Chris Tomlin has put words and music together and made it something totally great. I believe that this is one song to listen to when you're at your lowest point in life. It really lifts you up again and is a good reminder of why you shouldn't worry. God is with us. God is great. God is strong. God is the healer. Nothing can stand against him. He helps lift us up out of the darkest times. Even when we think he's not doing anything or that he's not there at all and we're doing all the work and trying to hold on tight, God is already carrying and doing the heavy jobs.
I apologize, Lord, for any complaints I have made about you. After watching a few things I've realized that if you weren't there, then the big things would be hitting me. You do so much more than I ever realize. Thank you for everything you've done Lord, forgive me of my sins and my doubts.

Been the longest time and I don't know if I deserve to post this...

Yes it's been about 4 or 5 months.
But I'm scared again.
More scared than my ribs or that thing behind my ear.
In Bio, we learned about cancer. In the textbook it said that the mole.. yes, those '3D' ones... is benign. But if something happens to form around it on the skin, like some brown stuff, then it could be a chance of turning cancerous. See, I have one of those. Those '3D mole' thing. I was showering one day and I turn around to see my back through the mirror and noticed that there was something surrounding it. I freaked. I know I shouldn't be jumping to conclusions about anything, but I freaked out a lot. I don't remember if it was always there (the surrounding thing) or not, but I cannot stop thinking about it.
I told my mom just now and she said not to worry about it and that it was from my dad's side of the family. I'm not sure if she gets me, I don't think she understands the surrounding bit part. She said my dad had it... but I've never seen one with the brown surrounding skin area thing.
IN ANY CASE...
I'd like to ask for a prayer.
I might tell my doctor while I'm there asking for a medication...
might.
So yeah, I'd like to ask for a prayer if you have time. A short, simple prayer.
Lord.
I pray that my faith in you will strengthen so that I will no longer fear evil. The thought of death , even. I pray that whatever happens, I will remain calm knowing that you are with me from beginning to end of each journey I go through. Lord I will follow you through the days of my life and fear nothing. This is something small, something that you can fend off. Thank you for giving me life.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.

I'd like to share a song that I enjoy.

LENT.

I'm giving up facebook for lent. I've never done lent before, but I decided I wanted to try it this year! It's been 5 years since I've had facebook, but I'm giving it up.
40 days.
40 nights.
I can do this!
I realized that even if I have nothing to do, I'd always go to facebook just to see if I can somehow kill some time.
Within these 40 days, I hope to be able to advert all my attention on homework and spend more time with God.
Lord, in these 40 days, I hope to be able to walk my steps a little further with you.♥

"Don't worry, I'll come back"

I will admit it.
For the past few months I haven't been going to church.
No, I haven't given up on God. My excuse has always been "I've just been really busy recently", which isn't completely a lie. I have been busy with school and moving. BUT. I know that that's no reason to push the opportunity of getting closer to God and feeding my spirits, to the side. I always thought that it was a reasonable, legit "excuse". If anyone was to give up on someone, it should be God giving up on me, but because God is so forgiving and loving, he wouldn't give up on me. Especially since I am one of God masterpiece, as is every single one of you.

Recently, I've been feeling like my life is heading in the wrong direction. I feel really uncomfortable, and something just doesn't feel right anymore. Semester one is over, that's a good thing. But my marks were not satisfying. I think it all started after I stopped going to church. My marks just started going downhill with the exception of music. Second semester started today, and before this day ever came, I felt that it would be easy and relaxing. I thought it would be a chill semester, but boy was I wrong. Nothing much happened today, but I suddenly felt overwhelmed. A feeling of uneasiness. The thoughts of "can I really survive this semester?" going through my head. I was suddenly doubting everything. I suddenly felt really... really... weak. The feeling of being uncomfortable was welcomed into my life once more and the path I walk got further from the right path again.

Yesterday, I went to church for the first time in a long time. It was a different church, yes. But church is church. It's just the house of God. Doesn't matter which church I go to right? My parents have been searching for a different church to go to because they felt it was time to switch. But that's not the main point. Yesterday, I felt like I was renewed again. I felt a little bit stronger. I could once again, breathe. I felt comfortable and satisfied. Today I walked into school feeling the way I felt before yesterday, and walked out feeling the same. It was not until a while ago, did it finally dawn on me as to why I might've felt that way. My conclusion? Simply because I have pushed God to the side for too long.

They say to place all your burden on God, right? I haven't been doing that. My friend told me that if there is a time when I am unable to STAND, to KNEEL. I told her I would do so. I actually haven't. I have never once seeked God when I was in trouble. I may have cried out "Lord, help me!" but have I actually cried out sincerely? What I mean by that is have I actually cried out because I needed him?

What I've been doing by not going to church is starving my spirit. There was no energy left in it. It's because I know that God is there for me ALWAYS. And because I know this point, I think to myself "Lord, you're always there for me. I'm just going to leave you for a moment. Don't worry though, I'll come back real soon!" But how soon was real soon? It might have been many more months, years or more. And because I've "left" him, the gap between him and I are opening wide. God's hands are reaching for me, and each time he tries to get closer, I'm always moving away from him. If I continued this, then in the future it'd be much harder for me. The large gap I'd have to try and fill in. The difficulties I'd have had to go through. The pain, the sadness and misery. But most importantly, those times I've been away from him, I could've been receiving so much more than I have now. I could've been receiving his eternal love.His love is always with me, I know. But while I'm away, I could only feel it around me, embracing me. But I never felt it in me, which is probably most important. The times I've been away from him, I've been running around like that lost lamb that the Shepard went to look for. Being rebellious and not staying close to the pack and to the Shepard. I could've been eaten and killed by hungry wolves.

All I can do now, is restrengthen my spirit and let it grow and catch up with God. Let myself connect with God once again. It'll take time getting used to everything again. And maybe it's good to start anew. Whatever the case, I need to find my way back to God.

Lord, thank you for waiting for me. Thank you for always being there for me even when I have neglected you. I am back, my father, and I hope that these warm pair of arms will forever be embracing me until I come see you. As well as all the others in the world. I am willing to start anew, it may take time, but I will surely get there knowing that you are there, holding my hands and helping me learn to walk step by step first, then up the stairs. Everything takes time and process and it may be a bumpy road, but at the end of the day, I'll be able to sleep in your arms. The arms that are hugging me, until tomorrow comes with a new challenge for us.

Footprints in the Sand

"One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.


In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.


This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,


'You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?'


The Lord replied, 'The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.'"


-Mary Stevenson

Honestly; I love this poem. Or quote if you prefer to call it that. It really gets to me. The first time I ever read that, I felt a ppang! in my heart. It made me realize that I am never ever alone. Especially during my darkest times and my time of need. Even during my brightest times; the Lord is always walking beside me, and of course: you. It made me realize that there's always someone there for me. Those times when I'm too tired to continue walking... the time that I just... need to close my eyes and faint, the Lord is always there, ready to catch me when I do fall. And no matter how heavy my burdens may be, he's still willing to carry me throughout the whole way until I regain my strength to be able to walk with him again.

Before I read to the very last line, I wondered to myself. "Is it true? It can't be. Jesus would never leave us, especially during our lowest times of our lives. But... then, where did his footprints go?" Of course, I don't mean to doubt God, in fact... I wasn't doubting at all. It was just the quote that got me wondering these things... as if it was a story I was reading; asking myself questions. But when I read the last line, it was like everything around it disappeared and all that I could see was:

"The Lord replied, "The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you."

I stared at it for a while and felt my heart softened up. I smiled to myself and thought to myself "I can relax, knowing that when I fall, the Lord will carry me."

SO. I was hunting around today for that picture and that quote and everything to post on my tumblr.
And came across the song "Footprints in the Sand" by Leona Lewis.
The Lyrics:

You walked with me
Footprints in the sand
And helped me understand
Where I'm going
You walked with me
When I was all alone
With so much unknown along the way
Then I heard you say

I promise you
I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
I'll carry you
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

I see my life
Flash across the sky
So many times have I
Been so afraid
And just when I
Have though I've lost my way

You give me strength to carry on
That's when I heard you say

I promise you
I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
I'll carry you
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

When I'm weary
Well I know you'll be there
And I can feel you
When you say

I promise you
I'm always there
when your heart is full of sadness and despair
I'll carry you
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand

Here's the youtube link: Footprints in the Sand 
Please listen and watch. (: