Tuesday, May 11, 2010

not symmetrical?

Sometimes when you look at yourself, something's not right. Or when you touch a part of your body, it doesn't feel right either. A body is not symmetrical. One eye is smaller than the other, one arm might be slightly longer. A human body is NOT symmetrical.
For me, i understand that. I honestly do. It's just sometimes my body's so NOT symmetrical is actually scares me to death. Take my rib cage for example, i don't know what i've actually realized this, probably earlier this year or late last year, but the left side of my rib cage sticks outwards. Like, when the rib cage curved around, it's usually seen as flat, but the left side of my rib cage kind of keeps running upwards.
THAT is what scares me. Even though i've been reassured that it's just that my body's not symmetrical, that i'm not going to die, it still scares me.
I've even prayed to the Lord about this.
Lord, I know that you are with me, and I know that this side of the rib cage is probably just my body and it will do no harm, i'm still scared. Please help me be calm about this.
Sometimes the prayer works, yet somehow the other time it doesn't.
I remember at night before i fell sleep, i started being scared again. So scared i wanted to start puking. (not sure if i've already told the story) so i prayed and listened to christian songs. It didn't help so i turned the lights on, stopped the music and started reading this spiritual devotional like book. I flipped to the part that i was supposed to be on. What do you know? It talks about someone being so scared that she starts thinking too much about death. I immediately found the connection. The person also said that Jesus had already come down to Earth and conquered death so we shouldn't be afraid. I'm not too sure, but it made me more confident. I felt that God was talking to me that instant through the book.
And thinking about it, i was scared just a while ago.
You can stick your fingers in my rib cage, that's what made me scared.
I tried pushing the rib cage so that hopefully it will somehow bend downwards as well.
But after thinking about that night, I suddenly feel confident again.
I know that it was a message from God telling me not to worry and that it won't harm me.
So I say,
Satan, stop trying to ruin my life. You and I both know that God is going to win; always.
you can try with all your might, but i know for sure, that God is fighting along side me and will reassure me that I, his daughter, will be fine as long as i put my trust and faith in him.

But people, even if i'm not scared now, somewhere along the future i may still be scared. So I ask for a prayer request, pray that i will always remember that night that God showed me the message. A precious message from a father to a daughter. I will update the prayer request page now.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. (:

Love you all♥

4 comments:

  1. =)
    ....
    .....
    =D

    Really, I don't know what to say. There's so much of God's awesome-ness that just overwhelms when I read this.
    You grow so fast, Jacqueline. You know that?
    Soon, you'll be older than me.....that's not possible. Well, what I mean is, your walk with God is maturing so much, it drags a big smile onto my face.

    And don't worry about your rib cage. Really, who's going to actually notice if you didn't tell them? And even if you did, can they still notice? I know I couldn't tell. Why? Well....
    1) You wear clothes.
    2) It's not obvious.
    So it's not a big deal. You are the daughter of God, and that makes the difference.
    You are a brilliant, awesome, pretty, awesome, pretty awesome(XD)person, and nothing should ever change that.

    I wrote a lot....but it's all from my heart, so it's all good.
    Glad you blogged again. PTL!

    Jeffrey Lo
    Peace Love Respect

    ReplyDelete
  2. My first comment didn't show up >.<

    But whatevs. I'll just write you another heartful comment. =)

    You know Jacqueline, you grow so fast, it's amazing. Your spiritual walk with God's been growing and maturing so fast, it brings a smile onto my face. Don't ever let that stop!

    And no worries about your rib cage or your image for that matter. Why? Well.....
    1) You wear clothes
    2) It's not obvious
    3) You are a pretty person.
    So don't break a sweat over it. It's not like people can notice it. And even if they do bring it out against you, that just makes them superficial, cuz I bet they ain't so perfect either.
    So look to the skies and remember that you, Jacqueline are a brilliant, pretty, awesome, pretty awesome (XD) person and nothing should ever change that.

    I wrote a lot again. But it's all from my heart, so it's all good.

    Jeffrey Lo
    Peace Love Respect

    ReplyDelete
  3. * sniff * Jacqueline, you've grown soo much. and thank God that i could be a part of it ♥.
    and amen to your post.
    why should we worry (:
    we're God's masterpie,cce hence, we're perfect the way we are
    He doesn't make mistakes (:

    Love you SOOO much ♥.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh Jacqueline, your blogs are so indepth. They're amazing. To tell you the truth, we're ALL not symmetrical. My whole body (literally) is shifted downwards on my right side. Including my jaw; that's why I needed braces (my teeth weren't crooked, but my jaw was and still is). Even my back/shoulders. I have to get an X-ray every once in a while to make sure my spine isn't too off (I'm already off by 5 degrees). So yes, it may be scary at times, but in the end, I'm content with who I am. I'm happy that you are too. You're GORGEOUS the way you are. Perfect. Just LOVELY. BEAUTIFUL. Having imperfections is the new perfect. HEHE. See what I did there? ;) Wow, I have to remember that one. (:

    ReplyDelete